Anger is like fire it can get out of control and be very destructive or it can serve a purpose. As an energy anger is neither good nor bad. Consider e/motion containing e + motion = energy + motion…..

When we allow energy to move it can be processed and released. However, there are tendencies for emotions to get stuck in two main ways…..

1 – suppressing or repressing emotion

2 – wallowing in an emotion

To process and release the emotions is to give permission for movement. I would like to offer you a few suggestions when you are faced with a build up of intense energy.

First and foremost do your best to relax, relax, relax. Sometimes, the first emotion that needs to be processed is the fear of being overwhelmed by the emotions. (If you have fear and there are deep or complex issues it would be beneficial to get support through an EFT or other healing session. Eg clean your own teeth but go to a dentist for root canal.  Get in touch for support.) 

If we fear our emotions we may run away from them with addictions and distractions. This is an indicator of the first tendency of repression. If this is you, after you clear any fear,  becoming aware of what you feel in your body by moving your conscious awareness out of your head and into your body is a fantastic practise. 

You might notice your jaw is clenched, you are holding muscular tension, your palms become sweaty, or your breathing shallow, or your body might become hot. If we are in our heads and not feeling our feelings sometimes we don’t notice our feelings at all. Just acknowledging you are getting angry or are angry can provide movement.

If you tend towards the second option of wallowing then engaging your rational right brain  such  as naming the emotions and its source(s) helps to process the enormity / depth of the feeling state. 

Contemplation to investigate the thoughts and beliefs that relate to the anger is helpful for both tendencies. It can also reveal subconscious anger that is often buried because we feel we don’t have a right to have it. 

Looking deeper into anger we can find two root causes. One is a sense of unfairness and the other is a sense of powerlessness. 

Let’s compare guilt and anger as they both can reveal the ways in which we are thinking about fairness. Guilt relates to thinking we have done something unfair to someone else. Anger relates to feeling someone has done something unfair to us.

How do we know if it is really unfair? It can be valuable to dig deeper and ask is the story I am telling myself true? Is this behaviour / event really unfair? Eg. if you feel guilt for not cleaning the beach for one day and you have been cleaning it every day for years or if you feel angry for not getting flowers twice a day from your lover there may be some underlying beliefs to question.

On the other hand, you may ask the question – Have I really been unfair? And get a yes. Or you may ask – Have they been really unfair to me? And get a yes. This is your emotion giving you a signal to take action. E.G. Communicate and request changes for more justice and fairness or in the case you have been unfair make a mends. 

Many people say, ‘Seeing is believing’ but consider the opposite, ‘Believing is seeing’. What we believe to be true is often what we attract. If we believe life is ‘drab and grey’ (insert any belief about life) then we find ourselves in these situations either because they really are ‘drab and grey’ or we are perceiving them to be ‘drab and grey’. And this is where powerlessness often comes in.

If we believe there is nothing we can do eg ‘it is what it is’ that we have no choices then we can get overwhelmed with anger (or sadness). 

The truth is we are creators. We create. We create all kinds of experiences and things. Anything can be turned into a lesson, lead into gold, lemon into lemonades. Even when it seems we have no choice or ability to create we have the freedom to create our perception and to choose our thoughts.

Contemplate the last time you felt angry…. Did you feel powerless? Was something unfair? Was it truly unfair or did you just perceive it that way? Is there a communication, boundary or choice that can change it? Is there any way of viewing it with fresh eyes?

I remind you, you are a powerful creator. You do have a choice in what you think, feel and believe. Beliefs can either limit us or liberate us and essentially we are making it all up so you may as well make up ones that serve you. 

I know that when we feel overpowered by depression, anxiety, anger, rage or other intense energy the abilities to choose beliefs or consciously create reality seems out of reach. This is why I am an advocate of emotional processing tools such as EFT/Tapping, breathing techniques, writing techniques, movement techniques and other tools to move stuck energy. Thus freeing up energy to remember or awaken your power and your abilities to create. 

What kind of fire do you want your anger to be? One that teaches you and warms you or fire that gets out of control?